What I Really Want to Know. . .

There's a new comedy playing, something with "lying" in the title. It's about people who can hear the truth their companion is thinking but verbalizing something entirely opposite; a lie. For instance, the gal is sitting across from her first date, smiling, winking and saying absolutely pleasant things to her male companion. But he is hearing things like, "oh, he's got a beer gut," and "if he thinks he's getting in my pants tonite, or ever, he better think again." I just love this stuff. I would have enjoyed asking more investigative questions of my speed dates but I feared I'd be breaking some laws in this country or eligible for beheading in others. All with a grain of salt, here is my list of questions for those dudes who one day may turn out to be HIM.


1) Please stand up and let me check you out. Pull up that shirt, would you?
2) I am your Goddess, you will worship me. Do you agree with that statement?
3) Do you mind sleeping in the wet spot? (the right answer is muy importante!)
4) Can you get me a copy of your health papers before our third date?
5) Do you have any issue with boarding schools? (If he has full custody of young children)
6) When I want you to just leave after post-coital cuddling, would you get upset?
7) Can you make me a really good mojito?
8) When my plans are better, say for Saturday night, will you give up yours to accompany me?
9) How do you interpret my statement, "I really don't want you to buy me anything for my birthday."
10.) I make a demand. You fall into line. Not the other way around. Are we clear?